Me, Only Me

If a phrase or word is repeatedly drummed into the mind, how much of it are we supposed to believe. It could be a torture or a blessing. But once taken away from the source, the words cease and then only we can think for ourselves once again. Those words can excel or degenerate the mind. I find myself surrounded by either the positive or negative chants at one time. One world gives me strength and the other takes it away. I want to believe in myself as much as a kind eye may look upon me, I find it an odd curse for words to impact me so deeply from someone I hardly know. I love the feeling of power and control. I thrive on that feeling. I will always ensure that I am an independent person and free to make my own decisions. The days of roaming wild and carefree seem a distant memory. I want to wear the pants. I want a career, I want to be someone high up and respected. I will do what it takes to make my success, failure is not an option. Life is a funny odd thing. Don't you just love it?

I dream of waking up everyday at sunrise to a wonderfully eventful day carefully planned suiting time management needs. I want to feel important and immaculate in my appearance. Love they self and my family around me. I want to spend an hour a day in solitude in mediation as I collect my thoughts and feelings for the day ahead. I imagine myself being there before I have arrived. I want to calculate, assess, design, research and bring color and life into this damp and dreary world. I can make the changes within myself and to the outside. I will make myself happy.

Health, Happiness and Wealth. Forget the rest.