Pa
I realised sometime ago that i cannot run away from my problems, which is partly the reason i came back to uk to force myself to study and live here for three years. I'll admit, it was hard and at times i wanted to pack it all in and give up. But i stayed because i knew somehow i'd be a stronger person for it. I've not only achieved a degree in three years pa, i've achieved something so much more. I feel that i've never been closer to my family as i am now. Don't forget we was was each others throats out of frustration and misunderstanding and so much anger. I realised that i want to be a part of your life and for you not to be a stranger, i wanted to know how a daughter can love her father again without fear. Out of this i have grown a deep respect for you and have seen a light in you like no other! You fascinate me and i feel that i could listen to you for hours at a time and watching you cook or whatever! I feel that by knowing you i know myself so much better, that the other part of the equation is solved. Because of this, i have developed a deeper understanding of myself and others and a patience which i thought would never return. I love you. These are not empty words falling upon a strangers ears. For all that you are, the man you are,the enlightened soul you are and the father you are to me. It actually upsets me that when i leave i will not be able to randomly see you on a tuesday night out of the blue. But i have faith that when the time is right we will be spending a lot more time in each others company reminiscing over the past,present and future,wordly events and i love our talks on philosophy.
So as you see, it is so much more harder to leave this time around than when i was 16. I have a mother i adore and a sister i have seen bloom into a woman. These are unbreakable ties in my mind, my family mean so much to me and i will put them first before myself. As you know, i'm am best helping everyone if i am doing my personal best to create a life for myself. I need financial stability to help myself and help them. I feel that i will be a wealthy woman one day, i do not know how or when, i just feel it. I deserve it. Australia will open many doors for me, the doors of opportunity. With a helping hand from you, i can begin my quest to find out how best to serve humanity. You have already done so much for me, for which i am ever so grateful, you have been there when i needed you the most and cushioned the hardships i have endured. Please let this be your parting gift to me for which i will not let you down. I am 23 this year, i feel ready for the the world. You know, i have always despised the rat-race concept of society the same way my cousins have ever since you told me. For a long time i have been thinking about how not to be sucked into the system and lost forever. I want to work for myself. But i will do it the right ways. I have so many ideas and dreams of what i want and i will find the best ways to make them happen. I want to make you proud and i'm sorry i couldnt do it academically, my mind doesn't fit into those boxes. I'm a dreamer, same as you, i am a creator of my own fortune and destiny, same as you and i'm also wise enough to know the real world and its problems but for them to have minimal impact. I'm willing to work hard for the things i want and harder than anyone in my field. You have taught me to see the mind behind the mind and i carry these pearls of wisdom with always.
As always, i look foward to your reply
Love Zoe
xxxxxx
