I'm not afraid

I know I'm home when I can bite my toenails in front of the PC and smoke with the other hand while balancing. It's got that bitter sweet taste to it. I'm home but I'm working on getting myself out of here. I'm going to uni baby. Actually part of the reason why I'm not already in uni is that I couldn't understand the English forms and system let alone send an application. I did it all by myself with no help. It's times like these where I really appreciate having a brain.


Long-term goals
I'm going to be the best god-damn Interior design on this planet.
I'm going to be the most loving daughter and sister.
I'm going to set an example to my baby doll sister.
I'm going to own my own house and car.
I'm going to be strong and loving each and everyday of my life.
I'm going to be guilt-free and considerate.
I'm going places when and where I please.
I'm going to have a great husband and kids.
I'm going to be mentally and physically active till the day I die.
I'm going to take the best of innocence and experience into my life.

Mid-term goals
I'm going to get a job.
I'm going to Spain.
I'm going to university.
I'm going to win back trust and affection from my family.
I'm going to quit smoking.
I'm going to join ballet or kickboxing or both.
I'm going to expand my knowledge in Chi-gong, Feng-Shui, Interior design, Cooking, Buddhism, and Relationships.
I'm going to lose 4kgs.
I'm going to peruse modeling.

Short-term goals
I'm going to sort out my accommodation, grant, loan, tuition fees.
I'm going to take my family out for dinner and a movie this week.
I'm going to take care of my hair, skin, nails.
I'm going to eat the best food I can afford.
I'm going to phone my family in Malaysia and tell them how much I love them.
I'm going to make a work resume and send it out until i get what I want.
I'm going to mow the lawn and cut back the garden.
I'm going to maintain good clean habits with exception of biting toenails.
I'm going to do my laundry regularly and efficiently.
I'm going to take pride in myself inside and out.
I'm going to do major clean up in the house once a week.
I'm going to cook good Italian food tomorrow.

The most important goal of all is that I maintain and refer back to these goals. I believe nothing is impossible and there are no limits to how much of a good girl I can really be.

This blog will show no weakness, only raw determination and skills. Everything that I feel proud of, I will post. At hard times, I will self-discover the problem and find a solution and act immediately or when appropriate. I belong to no one only to myself. My body, soul and mind is my temple and I shall honor it. I am married to myself just as Queen Elizabeth was married to her country. I shall always try to see a positive side of life and smile. I will dance in my kitchen with my mother if I have nothing better to do and feel like it.

I'm happy, I have everything I need right now.